Say what? People Who Wear Two Different Shoes

Yes it’s true. This truly bugs me. I know there are some “free-to-be-me” flakes out there in the world who see this as an “artistic” expression of themselves or whatever. I got some news for you, it ain’t that great.

Uh oh, I used “ain’t.” That means that I’m really fired up about this.

It’ll started a long time ago, when some soyboy living in his parent’s basement woke up one morning and decided he needed to divert attention away from his hipster scarf that he stole from a homeless man. He looked at a pair of black Italian dress shoes he wore, and discovered his dog had stolen one. He had another pair that looked similar, but discovered his dog had chewed one of those as well. That’s when the light bulb flipped on. After singing Chicago’s “You’re The Inspiration” to his dog, he grabbed both these shoes. Now, he had a weird fashion statement to divert away from the other weird fashion statement. Two un-matching shoes on each foot.

It was like nirvana or something. He just could not believe that this genius idea had not occurred to any else who lived on the planet Earth or something.

This caught on, and it soon became a way to define one’s individuality, and then everyone starting doing it, so then it just became a fad.

The problem is, however, that only a sub-culture of people who loitered around ‘no loitering’ signs became the folks on the runway for this new fashion statement. It left the rest of the normal people wondering if this was a group who was going color blind, had vertigo, or were taking medication. Whatever the case may be, we were usually right.

So, please, just wear the right foot with the one on the left. We’ve already sent enough people off to the nut-house for far smaller reasons.

That is my idea. What do you think? Let me know in the comments if you think that I am making too big a deal about this. While you are at it, check out my graphic novel review of Batman: Batgirl. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more posts like this one. This article is meant for humor and satire.

You can find me on everywhere on social media! Patreon: Click Here | Facebook: Author Jacob Airey | Instagram: real.jacob.airey | Twitter: @realJacobAirey | YouTube: StudioJake

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