What if you took the concept of well-meaning organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, but throw in murderers and hitmen? You get Killers Anonymous, directed by Martin Owen, who co-wrote it with Elizabeth Morris and Seth Johnson.
In London, Joanna (MyAnna Buring) holds a meeting with hitman Markus (Tommy Flanagan), assassin Leandro (Michael Socha), serial killer and doctor Calvin (Tim McInnerny), streetwise thug Ben (Elliot James Langridge) and sociopathic hired gun Krystal (Elizabeth Morris), who unbeknown to the others killed failed assassin Jade (Jessica Alba). They meet at Killers Anonymous to talk about their kills past and present. They are all on edge after the assassination of US Senator Kyle (Sam Hazeldine), who was widely considered to be the next American president. They are further put on edge by newcomer Alice (Rhyon Nicole Brown), who does not seem to want to talk. In between discussing their kills, they are being spied on by The Man (Gary Oldman), who is also fielding calls from his LA protege Violet (Suki Waterhouse). As the night goes on and tensions rise, they soon discover that they are flunkies for the CIA and that more is going on than expected.
There are exactly three positive aspects to the movie. First, the cinematography by Håvard Helle was spot on. It worked well with the film and provided a good aesthetic. Second, the music was perfect as it matched the tone and ambiance of the feature.
Lastly, by most importantly, Oldman, Buring, and Flanagan all turn up excellent performances in the film. Their characters are well-developed and interesting, but only because of their talent. They are perfect for each role and provide an oasis for the viewer.
That is where the positive side end. The movie is a convoluted mess rescued by the fact that it is not that long. The amount of time spent with KA should have been interesting, but outside of the murdering doctor, none of the character’s stories of death and destruction were that compelling. I found myself yawning as they each told their sad little tales of murder. I have feeling this was meant to create some sort of empathy for the characters, but on that front, it was an epic fail.
The movie was trying to present itself as somewhat as a black comedy that had many twists or turns, but when punchlines were delivered I did not laugh. When the twists were presented, all I did was give a shrug. It also had an anti-American bent where it tried to present a case that the CIA was bought and paid for by Russia and that was the point of the senator’s death. Normally, as an American, these plots somewhat bother me, but this just had me saying, “That’s it?”
On Jessica Alba, she was grossly underused. She is a fantastic actress and I know she is semi-retired while pursuing entrepreneurship, so when you do cast her, at least give her a good role. It would have made the movie way better.
Bottom line, Killers Anonymous is an interesting concept with humor that fails, twists that make you yawn, and though it has a few excellent actors and actresses, their performances could not save this movie from just being bad.
PARENTAL CONCERNS: Gore, Violence, Strong foul language
FAVORITE QUOTE: We’re all here, we’re just not all there.
Check out the movie trailer below:
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below. Tell me if there is a comic book, movie, or novel you would like me to review. While you are at it, check out my movie review of Dream/Killer and my 2019 Christmas Songs For Your Music Download List. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more posts like this one.