Today is my birthday. Yep, I made it another year. I survived the Obama Presidency and the non-election of the most corrupt candidate in recent history, fired Watergate Commission lawyer Hillary Clinton (true story, look it up). Political humor aside, I write a lot about movies. Since it’s my birthday, I thought I’d share some of my contrarian opinions about famous movies. I hate some movies that you probably enjoy. Sorry not sorry to be a buzzkill, but here is a list of ten movies I hate (that you probably like).
10. James Cameron’s Avatar– This is a boring, poor CGI edited film that stole the plot from a kid’s movie, Fern Gulley: The Last Rainforest. It was not simply themes taken, Cameron carbon copied the plot and just made it two hours of boring anti-American sentiment with a climax that made no sense.
09. The Bourne Identity– This is the most boring spy thriller I’ve ever seen. I know you have to suspend belief for movies, but seriously, some of the stuff was WAY over the top. The director should have fired the entire film crew during production. The shaky cam might be great for The Blair Witch Project, but not for a espionage movie.
08. Twilight- This story about an abusive stalker that wins the heart of his victim and constantly puts her danger is not only melodramatic, but Kristen Stewart cannot act her way out of a paper bag.
07. Ocean’s 11- The modern remake has a stellar cast, yet they don’t actually act in this movie. The pace is slow, the plot predictable, and the ending nonsensical. I never rolled my eyes so much during a movie.
06. Up- Pretty much the worst Pixar movie ever made, I wanted my minutes back as I watched this boring, ambivalent film that screams at kids, “Give up on your dreams!”
05. Salt– I’ll never understand why this movie received so many accolades. It is so predictable and one of the worst performances by Angelina Jolie. Snore!
04. The Titanic– Sorry, but this film gets so many historical facts wrong, it makes me want to puke. Had the movie been about twenty minutes shorter, I might have enjoyed it, but I found myself constantly checking my watch to see if I could leave.
03. Looper– Rian Johnson is not a great director, so I’m not looking forward to The Last Jedi and I’m going in with low expectations. This science fiction farce proves it. It has so many plot holes, it is almost a parody.
02. Letters To Juliet- This one was not necessarily bad, it just did not impress me. It seemed to be just another random chick-flick/rom-com that offered nothing new to the genre.
01. Logan– I wrote a review, so I won’t rehash it here, but the money the studio shoved out to produce it would have been better spent remaking Plan 9 From Outer Space. I did like one scene. It was when Logan died (sorry, not sorry, spoiler). I knew the movie would finally be over.
Be sure to like and share! Don’t forget to subscribe for more entertainment and pop culture articles like this one! Also, check out my top 10 favorite Disney films that came out before 2010.
Head over to my YouTube channel to subscribe to my channel where you can watch my vlog and free web show StudioJake. Check out this episode where I give you updates for Marvel’s fighting game Future Fight.
If you would like to order your paperback copy of my debut novel Cacophony: A Tale Of Faith And Fear, click here. It is an incredible paranormal thriller about a group of demons trying to steal human souls by assaulting their church. The Messenger Gabriel, a Guardian angel Christopher, and the Seven Archangels are sent by God to stop them. It’s a tale that mixes drama, supernatural fiction, with a dash of fantasy.
Consider supporting me and my creative efforts on Patreon. It is because of your generosity that writers, bloggers, creators, and vloggers like me can continue to be creative.